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28 August 2011 @ 02:28 pm
Official QAF Season 1 Profiles: Ted & Emmett  

I am not liking this weird new cut/paste problem that lj has. Seriously. It's bad enough having to do it with this, but I'm not sure what's goinng to happen when I try to post a story; I don't like the idea of having to fix the spacing on every single thing I do.



Emmett Honeycutt (the color of the
party)

Perhaps the proudest queer on Liberty Ave., Emmett marches to the beat of his own fashion drummer. He lives fabulous, loves fabulous, and dresses even more fabulous...that is, if you're a fashion victim with three maxed-out credit cards and 7 pairs of Gucci sunglasses. But he does get an incredible discount at Torso, the queer clothing boutique where he works as a “retail slut.” Funny and fierce, this queer isn't afraid to get in touch with his soft side or yours...or that adorable Latin hottie who works at the tanning salon.

Earliest Ambition:to be faaaaabulous!

Favorite Color: Is see-through a color?

Favorite Fashion Designer: Versace or Tom Ford.

Guilty Pleasure: People watching...and then doing imaginary makeovers on them.

Things that Irritate Him: When people wear clothing that doesn't suit them.
People who love handles that bare their midriffs Gay men that can never let themselves get “queeny”
shoddy-zippers
Bad Cher imitators
When Ted whines about not being able to get a date.

Seven Favorite Jeopardy! Categories: Disco Divas, Fashion Divas, Hollywood
Divas, Double 0-Seven Devas, Southern Divas and She's Like Buttah.

Dead Person He'd Most Like to Meet: There's so many! But if he has to narrow it down: Natalie Wood...just to find out what happened that awful night.

Favorite Old-Time TV Character: Endora from Bewitched.

The One Item That's Always in His Refrigerator: cucumbers—mostly for putting on the eyes after a night out of partying.

Favorite Food: Milk and Oreos.

Favorite Fad Diet: Suzanne Somers' Eat, Cheat, and Melt the Fat Away Diet.

If Hosting a Dinner Party, His Guests Would Be: Cher, Aretha, Christina Aguilera, Barbra, Britney (remember not to seat her next to Christina!) Madonna, Brian, Michael, Ted, and the fabulous porn star Zack O-Tool.

Fashion Trend He Wishes Would Die: Overly-baggy clothes.


~ ~ ~

Ted Schmidt (the average guy)

Ted could be the most insecure queer man in Pittsburgh. A hottie in his own right, Ted hides what he has under one of the most boring wardrobes known to mankind. He approaches every guy at Babylon with one thought on his mind: “How fast are they going to reject me?” He also has a secret crush on Michael, as well as a predilection for co-dependent relationships.He's past 30, and feels like troll-hood is just around the corner. His biggest joy is being a porn connoisseur, and he knows all the best porn sites on the web.

Earliest Ambition: To be an opera singer or a fluffer on a porn film.

Favorite Aria: Mozart – Act II, Sesto's Aria from La Clemenza Di Tito.

Favorite Junk Food: Vanilla Pudding.

Guilty Pleasure: Surfing porn sites while at work.

Things That Irritate Him: Beautiful guys that reject him.
Brian getting any guy he wants.
Michael being in love with Brian.

Seven Favorite Jeopardy! Categories: Numbers Crunching, Wacky Websites, Parisian Potpourri, Dear John, Wino-o-rama, Teen Heartthrobs and Don't Callas we'll Call You (Anything related to Maria Callas!)

Items that are always in his refrigerator: A bottle of vintage Dom Perignon that he's saving for a special romantic occasion (It's been there since 1989.)


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