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15 January 2012 @ 10:00 pm
Fanfic: Won't Lose Again  
Title: Won't Lose Again
Fandom: Queer as Folk
Rating: NC-17ish
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Timeline: 309
Summary: ...the blond currently has The Look on his face. It's not a regretful look, not quite, although he almost wonders. But Brian has seen it before, so often during the end of their last run, that he feels a sudden constriction of fear in his chest.
Notes: Despite, the summary, not AU in the slightest. I think I may have stretched the timeline a bit, but I tried my best to keep it within canon.

---


He's got Justin spread out on the table in the nearly dark art department, the only light coming from the table below them and the boards behind him. Damn if this isn't near the very top of high-risk situations Brian's allowed himself to get in, because it's one thing to fuck in his own office, where he and the cleaning staff are the only ones with the key, and something completely different to do it here. Which is why, instead of undressing Justin, the way Brian would love, both of them have their trousers pulled down just enough, and Justin's shirt and sweater are rucked up under his armpits.

He shouldn't be doing this, but Justin is smiling up at him, and is hot around him, and the light from the table makes his hair into small gold halo. It's late, too, so they're alone, and it's not as if they're in the conference room—the corner one with the big windows, although Brian wouldn't wonder if that's one of Justin's new fantasies, too, to be fucked against the windows, with the chance of anyone seeing—so he can justify Justin's trouser-clad knees over his shoulders as Brian pounds into his ass.

Brian has always been very good at justifying sex.

He reaches over just in time to grab a tissue out of the packet Justin's taken to carrying around with him—wonder why—before Justin comes all over himself. Normally, Brian would love to watch it, but they have clothes to consider today. A few thrusts later, and he's burying himself into the blond and coming into the condom.

He leans forward, and lightly leans his forehead against Justin's, both of them breathing heavily and staring into each others' eyes.

They hear the maintenance guy coming down the hallway, though, the wheels of his cart squeaking and tinny music coming from headphones, and they quickly separate, Brian pulling and tying off the condom, while Justin pulls down his shirt, and both of them pulling up their pants. The tie feels even more like a noose after having fucked Justin like that, and Brian buttons up his cuffs prior to donning his jacket, no matter how hot and itchy it seems at the moment; he has sweat-stains to hide.

He glances over at Justin, and he suddenly realizes that the blond currently has The Look on his face. It's not a regretful look, not quite, although he almost wonders. But Brian has seen it before, so often during the end of their last run, that he feels a sudden constriction of fear in his chest. It might be a little sadness but he thinks it must be discontent.

Whatever it is, it's not the look of someone who just got fucked silly across the table at work.

Brian opens his mouth to talk, but before he can, the door opens and the maintenance guy walks in. The man pauses for a moment in surprise, and starts to back out.

“You can come in,” Brian says. “We just finished. Right, Taylor?”

“Yeah.” Justin's reply is outwardly enthusiastic, but there are those undertones.

They're silent as they make their way to the elevators. They don't look at each other as the heavy doors close. Brian notices that Justin hits the button for the lobby; he's planning on public transportation.

Brian looks slightly to the side as he says, “You want a ride?”

“I was gonna—“

“It's late.”

“So?” Justin says. “I'm a guy.”

Finally, Brian turns to look at the younger man, his expression speaking for him. The blond looks back and him, and finally shrugs. Brian will have to take him to Daphne's first for clothes, but he fully intends on Justin spending the night at the loft. With each floor the elevator lowers, Justin's mood seems to lift. Brian doesn't want to ruin the mood; they've spent the last few days completely consumed in one another, and he wants to make it last as long as he can.

Besides, looking back, Justin had never managed to forget his worries so fast during their last run. Maybe it wasn't anything.

~ ~ ~

Saturday finds Woody's packed to the rafters due to the Tease for Teens contest. Brian supposes he and Justin lucky to have gotten bar stools, except that it makes groping the blond much more difficult.

Brian spent a good portion of his day with Stockwell, filming the new commercial, and it's a relief to get back to Liberty Avenue. He'll have to go into work again tomorrow, but for tonight he plans on drinking, clubbing a little later, and then taking Justin home and spend the rest of the night fucking.

He pulls the hundred dollar bill out of his wallet as the contestant—Matthew—starts dancing. As he holds it up, Justin is laughing, covering his mouth like a ten-year-old. There's something adorable about it. Then the guy on stage pulls out his dick, and there's whoops throughout the bar. Over it, though, comes the call of “Pittsburgh PD!”

Brian gives an annoyed sigh and rolls his eyes. Just what they fucking need. He grabs his coat as they're herded out the the bar. He puts an arm around Justin's shoulders, and they step onto the street with the rest of the grumbling crowd.

“You wanna just go home?” Justin asks. “I'm not really in the mood for Babylon anymore.”

Brian pauses, but Justin keeps walking. The blond has the same attitude he'd had a few nights ago in the art department. The older man falls back into step behind his boy quickly enough, and catches him around the chest.

“You're angry with me, aren't you?” he asks. “As if it won't be enough that Deb'll blame me for this—“

“It's not you,” Justin interrupts. “I'm not angry at you, just...the world in general.”

Brian isn't entirely sure he believes it, but doesn't argue. In the end, he agrees to just go home. As soon as they are in the door, Justin pushes him against it, and Brian is surprised by the desperation. It's almost as if he thinks the older man will disappear at any moment, so he had better get all he can now.

Finally Brian simply picks Justin up, not breaking their lip-lock, and they almost stumble their way up the stairs. As soon as they're naked, Justin pushes Brian down on the bed and straddles his hips, plunging himself onto Brian's sheathed cock and riding him, looking as desperate as his kiss had felt. Afterward, Brian lights a cigarette and offers one to Justin, who declines. The smaller man lays his head against Brian's shoulder and traces patterns on Brian's sweaty chest. Justin's sigh is warm against Brian's skin, and he can feel the post-coitus confession coming. Instead of encouraging it, he remains silent, waiting.

“It's not fair,” Justin says, finally. “I just got you back...”

It is certainly not the complaint Brian saw coming. He lifts his head up, but Justin doesn't meet his gaze.

“What...?” Brian doesn't know how to finish the question.

“Everything is changing so fast,” Justin says. “If Stockwell gets elected, which he very well could, you'll be moving to New York. And I could lose you again. And I was thinking...I want to go with you.”

Brian smiles and runs a hand through blond hair. “Making plans already?”

Aren't you?” Justin asks, sitting up. “I can transfer schools, and I'll find a job and a place of my own, so it's not like—“

Hey. I know Vance and I have been talking big,” Brian said. “but we don't know for a fact that it's even going to happen. Even if Stockwell wins the election, it's not a guarantee that we'll have his sponsors' accounts. And even then, we don't know if it'll be the enough.”

“It will be.”

Alright, let's suppose it is,” Brian concedes. “Moving a business takes a long time. We would need to get the necessary funds and the office space, hire employees...it would take at least six months. And a lot can happen in six months.” Brian pauses, unsure if he wants to get into this. However, it needs to happen if he wants to avoid mess with Justin, especially so soon after having the blond come back to him. He reaches over to put out his cigarette. “It could happen that you and I have parted ways by then, in which case you wouldn't want to follow me. Or we could be living together again. Either way, it's a little too soon to be making these types of plans.”

Brian raises his hand to grip the back of Justin's neck and pulls him back down. Justin smiles, a little sadly, but settles back down against Brian's chest.

Brian sometimes misses the bright, happy boy that Justin was prior to the bashing. Afterward, he was much more quiet. Coming back from the fiddler, he's still quiet, but it's different. He isn't totally dependent on Brian the way he had been before; he's more sure of himself, and certainly wiser than he was.

Brian can't help feeling that maybe the separation was good for them, no matter how painful.

Despite what people seem to think, Brian has thought more about how Justin fits into his life than he has about any other person before. He has always had plans about how his life will turn out, and when Justin came along he didn't fit into any of them. And yet, Brian couldn't get enough of him. He's recently become very aware that, since the first night, he has referred to Justin in the possessive. My boy.

Therefore, he won't tell Michael that he has every intention of taking Justin with him. Because he's come to realize that he doesn't want to live without his blond. Ultimately, he'll do what ever is best for Justin, but he doesn't think that New York will do him any harm. And if they don't move to New York now, they'll find another way.

Either way, Brian has made it clear that he has no intention of letting something as trivial as New York split them up, and Justin seems to have accepted Brian at his word.

Brian doesn't break his promises.




---

 
 
 
Pam81pam81 on January 16th, 2012 05:43 pm (UTC)
This was a great piece.
One of my favorite arcs in the show.
I’ve really enjoyed it. Thanks!
MissTeacakes: three-o-eightmissteacakes on January 16th, 2012 07:11 pm (UTC)
Season 3 was a very inspiring time for our fandom. I'm glad you liked it!
Set your mind at rest and let your dreams run freemoonbrightnites on January 16th, 2012 06:37 pm (UTC)
Awww, I liked that a lot. :)

Besides, looking back, Justin had never managed to forget his worries so fast during their last run. Maybe it wasn't anything."
LOL. It's Justin. Of course it's something!

Brian doesn't break his promises.
Very true. :)

MissTeacakes: brianjustinmissteacakes on January 16th, 2012 07:13 pm (UTC)
I get the feeling Brian pushes himself into denial when it comes to Justin having problems in order to avoid confrontation.

Yup! It's one of the reasons he doesn't make many.
Set your mind at rest and let your dreams run freemoonbrightnites on January 16th, 2012 07:14 pm (UTC)
I get the feeling Brian pushes himself into denial when it comes to Justin having problems in order to avoid confrontation.

Absolutely. Otherwise, he'd have to worry all the time! ♥
anno53 on January 16th, 2012 08:27 pm (UTC)
Great update!

I like this Brian and Justin.